HOW TO LOSE AN ELECTION IN 10 DAYS

  1. 1.
    Insult the family of a fallen hero.
  2. 2.
    Compare business to the loss of a child.
  3. 3.
    Challenge the legitimacy of the election process.
  4. 4.
    Show your inability to pass basic world events by claiming Putin wouldn't make a military move into Ukraine -- even though Putin seized the Crimean Peninsula in 2014.
  5. 5.
    Claim fire marshals are democrats and don't know how to do their job when they turned people away from a rally.
  6. 6.
    Imply that women who get sexually harassed at work bring it on themselves.
  7. 7.
    Refuse to back members of your own party.
  8. 8.
    Joke that being given a Purple Heart is so much easier than earning one.
  9. 9.
    Kick a baby out of a rally.
  10. 10.
    Question why we can't just nuke our problems away.