THINGS I HOPE THE PERSON WHO STEALS MY IDENTITY IS BETTER AT THAN I AM

Most days I suck at being me, so I hope they'll be better at it than I am.
  1. Singing
  2. Drawing
  3. Keeping plants alive
  4. Not being a dick to other people
  5. Not being a dick to themselves
  6. Responding to emails
  7. Answering the phone
  8. Being in an elevator without thinking about how the cables are gonna snap and you're going to plummet to your death
  9. Eating just one cookie
  10. Carrying a crapton of emotional baggage
  11. Walking in heels
  12. Being an adult
  13. Replying to comments
  14. Recommending books to people
  15. Winged eyeliner