THINGS I'VE DONE TODAY (AS OF 11:07 AM)

  1. Voted
  2. Cheerfully wished my neighbor working the polling place a "happy erection day"
  3. Turned 4000 shades of red
  4. Hoped like hell he heard election
  5. Saw him glance down
  6. Gained confirmation he heard correctly
  7. Took up day drinking