WHAT THESE YOGA PANTS ACCENTUATED WITH FLAMING HOT CHEETO DUST ARE SAYING TO THE WORLD

  1. Stop fucking judging me.
  2. No, seriously, stop!
  3. I'm not trying to impress you.
  4. That's what they say.
  5. They're also saying
  6. Cut me some slack.
  7. Because for the moment, I have given up.
  8. I've put life on pause because adulting is hard.
  9. They're telling the guy at the Panda Express to give me a few extra fortune cookies.
  10. And the guy at the Baskin-Robbins to make that a healthy scoop of mint chocolate chip.
  11. They are saying to the clerk at the liquor store to ring up the 4 bottles of wine without any snarky commentary.
  12. But the one thing they're not saying to the world is that I did yoga today.