WHY I'LL PROBABLY WATCH DANCE MOMS INSTEAD OF THE STATE OF THE UNION

Let the record show, I voted for Obama. Twice. And would vote for him again if such things were allowed. However...
  1. Obama is planning some "theatrics."
  2. But so is Abby Lee.
  3. Obama will ignore the rising debt, the rising cost of insurance premiums, and the rising number Islamic terrorists in favor of these theatrics.
  4. Abby will ignore the all kids not named Maddie in favor of theatrics.
  5. Obama is planning to have an empty chair...
  6. Kendall's solo will probably have one that she will trip over and get chastised for.
  7. ...And a Syrian refugee.
  8. Probably the theme of the group number this week.
  9. Obama will go on and on about his successes.
  10. Abby will drone on and on about Maddie's successes.
  11. The audience will cry when Obama talks about victims of gun violence.
  12. Dance moms will cry when their daughters are victims of Abby's verbal violence.
  13. Obama will lay out his plan to defeat ISIS.
  14. Abby will lay out her plan to defeat [insert current dance team enemy here]
  15. Obama will outline his plan for the future but we will all be left wondering where we really stand.
  16. Abby will outline her plans for the future and the girls and their moms will be left wondering where they stand.
  17. So it won't be like I'm really missing anything.
  18. ...
  19. ...
  20. ...
  21. ...
  22. ...
  23. But in all seriousness:
  24. Domestic terrorism is ravaging this country, yet it won't be a part of the speech. ISIS will.
  25. Every day PoC face the reality they can step outside and have a police officer mistake them for a criminal based on skin color and shoot them dead, with a legally issued gun.
  26. A woman can walk into a Planned Parenthood for completely normal health services, and be gunned down by some anti-abortion vigilante, with a legally obtained gun.
  27. A family could head to the mall for a fun afternoon and be shot by someone with an automatic weapon that they purchased legally.
  28. Don't get me wrong, I'm worried about terrorist groups and their plans to target the world, but I'm equally worried about the homegrown terrorists we have here.
  29. But Obama didn't address them as part of his Oval Office discussion on terrorism last month and he won't address them tonight.
  30. Instead he'll dance around condemning the Islamic extremists without uttering the phrase "radical Islam" all the while reminding the Trumps of the world that Muslims are our neighbors. Our co workers. Our friends.
  31. He'll tout last year's Iran nuclear deal as an achievement.
  32. He'll talk once again about closing Git-Mo.
  33. He'll reinforce his executive order regarding gun control and cite how it will make things safer, while ignoring how often these horrible shooting happen with legally obtained guns.
  34. It'll be the same rhetoric, different day,
  35. And so I'll catch the highlights later.
  36. Not because the battles of the ALDC are more important than the SOTU, but because at least the battles will be depicted in a more forthcoming manner.