FOOD I'VE EATEN WHEN STONED

Sometimes i want food but don't have food. So I create new food, and sometimes that food is sad and life-questioning.
  1. Cold custard in a bowl.
    Garnished with two spoons, because custard is a sharing dish. Coming soon on a wooden board in a trendie restaurant near you.
  2. Frikadeller and egg mayonnaise. Also cold.
    Frikadeller is like a sad, flat, German version of meatballs. You can buy these extra processed in cheap European supermarkets and then slice those babies in half and spoon some nuclear yellow egg mayonnaise in there and eat that blood clogging mess without regret.
  3. Scrambled eggs 'n' oats with honey and cinnamon.
    Imagine making oats with eggs instead of milk. In a frying pan. Then garnishing with honey and cinnamon. There was also yogurt involved somewhere. I still convinced myself this wasn't that bad.
  4. Cereal, so much cereal.
    The satisfying crunch. The hydrating milky goodness in your dry mouth. Cereal is one of my top stoner foods. I've eaten dry bran flakes out of the box. Corn flakes with water as a sad milk replacement. I've eaten clusters of muesli and picked it out of my teeth for hours. I've tried to mix hot porridge with coco pops. But beer/wine plus weed then cereal is a whole stomach bag of juices you don't want to mix often.
  5. Dry bread.
    Because the toaster is just too much commitment sometimes.
  6. Secret chocolate.
    Ive been known to leave the group smoking away and go secret eat in the kitchen. Secret chocolate, secret crisps, secret old takeaway, secret cereal bars, secret bags of nuts, literally whatever is instantly available will be eaten. Sometimes stored in my cheeks like a squirrel if I forget how to eat momentarily.
  7. Cream of chicken soup on a bed of cheap undercooked pasta.
    Imagine if you tried to make spaghetti carbonara from a picture taken from a satellite using only ingredients that live in the back of your cupboard.