Ways to Know You're at a Splendid Holiday Party

'Tis the season for parties, and tonight's had a few gems worth mentioning
  1. Guy with a long white ponytail offering money to strangers.
  2. Adorable grandmother congratulating you on your life choices
  3. A team of unbeatable beer pong players
  4. Delicious food including cauliflower and cheese sticks
  5. Jokes throughout the night about the smell created by the food mentioned above
  6. A lady describing her time in the red light district in Amsterdam
  7. Your wife tells you "you had to be there" for any of this to be funny