I need to stop and laugh sometimes & my kids provide much fodder. Here are a couple that are top of head.
  1. My 13-year-old wrote a shortcut on my wife's keyboard so anytime she typed "spreadsheet" it changed it to "poop".
    She was confused for days.
  2. Once, while filling up at a gas station my youngest woke up from a nap loudly crying. He cried the entire time I was at the gas station & I implored him to stop, which only caused him to cry more.
    I joking said, "If you don't stop, I might just leave you here at the gas station," to which my older son replied, "but daddy, what about no child left behind?!"
  3. On a vacation in Santa Cruz, we were walking on slippery rocks near Natural Bridges. My toddler son slipped and landed on the rocks straight on his nose. He started screaming and blood ran profusely from his face. We had tissues in the car and after a whole box his nose stopped bleeding.
    That night we took him to pizza and got him a big scoop of ice cream for dessert.
  4. Also on that hike, when my son fell, all of the cars parked near us pulled out and left.
    Looking back, I think that is a make out spot and it was sunset. 😎
  5. I was a nanny for a two year old for a year. We'd go to this park a lot. One time I saw a crushed snail on the floor and said, "aw, poor lil guy"
    The next day we passed that spot the crushed snail was gone and Sam asked, "where's poor lil guy?" She thought the word for snail was poorlilguy.
    Suggested by @missv