1. Ability to reach into your pocket and always pull out the right key for the door you're trying to open
    Assuming you already owned the key, of course
  2. Super Memory
    Never forget a birthday again! Or that your bills are due!
  3. Ability to become sober at will
    And immunity to hangovers
  4. Every shower you use is instantly hot with really great water pressure
  5. Knowledge of every episode of every TV show ever
    So you don't have to actually watch them.
  6. Immunity to having bad ideas
  7. Not-quite-super strength
    Being able to lift a bus would be cool and all, but I would settle for just being able to move this couch on my own
  8. Squeaky clean poops, Every. Single. Time.
    One-Wipe Wonder!
  9. Being able to hang something evenly without any tools or second thought
    Suggested by @originalamericantrt