SKILLS YOU CAN PRACTICE BEHIND THE BAR DURING A SLOW BRUNCH SHIFT

Because if you're not going to walk away with any money, you might as well improve your resume!
  1. Juggling
    With fruit, not glassware
  2. Stirring two drinks at once
    And then 3 and the 4 and then and then and then
  3. Playing wine glasses to make music
  4. Drawing
  5. Sleeping with your eyes open
  6. Telekinesis
  7. Tying knots in cherry stems using only your tongue
    Also, indirectly, oral sex
  8. Ambidexterity
  9. Holding your breath
  10. Tweeting
    Does this count as a skill?
  11. Making lists
    This list just got META 🙀🙀🙀
  12. Wine tasting
    I'm getting notes of old grapes and vapors from the dish washer
  13. Peeing
    Now I'm just listing things I've done today (I stepped out from behind the bar for this one, thank you very much)
  14. Playing rubber bands to make music
    You gotta hold them against your ear drum but you can get AT LEAST 2 notes
  15. Predicting what song will play next on Pandora
    Yep, it's fucking "Hallelujah"
  16. Divining your future in the coffee grounds at the bottom of a cup
    "Is that a money sign with an "X" over it? Fuck you, coffee grounds!"
  17. Spinning and tossing a giant sign with your bar's name on it
    This skill is best practiced on the street in front of your bar rather than behind the bar itself.
  18. Speaking another language
    Bonus points if you invent it first
  19. Pretending not to be on your phone
  20. Performing that Shakespeare monologue you've been working on
    Works best when screamed at your barback without context or explanation
  21. Winning impromptu staring contests
    For best results, see above
  22. Making sculptures out of citrus peels
    For all you Artsy Arthurs and Etsy Betsy's
  23. Making blowguns out of straws and toothpicks
    This escalated quickly. (Maybe I'll make a list about this tomorrow)
  24. Catching flies out of the air with a pair of chopsticks, but with straws instead of chopsticks