TIMES I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN OUR RELATIONSHIP WASN'T GOING TO WORK OUT
- •When you called my mom a bitch...for sending me a text messageYou don't even know my mom. Who the fuck do you think you are?
- •When I told you not to call my mom a bitch and you accused me of defending herThat's exactly what I was doing
- •When you said it was fine because you call your mom a bitch all the timeAre you seriously trying to argue that you're not an asshole because you're also an asshole to someone else?
- •When you said you'll call my mom whatever you wantPeople who are allowed to call my mom a bitch: 1. Me (If I say it as a joke AND I feel guilty about it afterwards AND I immediately follow it up with "I'm just kidding, I love my mom, she's great.") 2. My brother (If he says it as a joke AND he feels guilty about it afterwards AND He immediately follows it up with "I'm just kidding, I love my mom, she's great.")
- •When you refused to apologize for calling my mom a bitchThis really isn't the time to start digging your heels in
- •When you started crying because I cared about my mom more than I cared about youWe had been dating for one month
- •When you demanded to see my phone to see if my mom had sent me any other text messagesIn hindsight, this is the point where I should have left the room
- •When you said "This is what I get for dating a Jew!"I don't think you said it that succinctly but it was definitely what you were implying
- •When you told me you didn't understand why all of your boyfriends' moms have hated youThere aren't enough facepalm GIFs in the world