TIMES I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN OUR RELATIONSHIP WASN'T GOING TO WORK OUT

  1. When you called my mom a bitch...for sending me a text message
    You don't even know my mom. Who the fuck do you think you are?
  2. When I told you not to call my mom a bitch and you accused me of defending her
    That's exactly what I was doing
  3. When you said it was fine because you call your mom a bitch all the time
    Are you seriously trying to argue that you're not an asshole because you're also an asshole to someone else?
  4. When you said you'll call my mom whatever you want
    People who are allowed to call my mom a bitch: 1. Me (If I say it as a joke AND I feel guilty about it afterwards AND I immediately follow it up with "I'm just kidding, I love my mom, she's great.") 2. My brother (If he says it as a joke AND he feels guilty about it afterwards AND He immediately follows it up with "I'm just kidding, I love my mom, she's great.")
  5. When you refused to apologize for calling my mom a bitch
    This really isn't the time to start digging your heels in
  6. When you started crying because I cared about my mom more than I cared about you
    We had been dating for one month
  7. When you demanded to see my phone to see if my mom had sent me any other text messages
    In hindsight, this is the point where I should have left the room
  8. When you said "This is what I get for dating a Jew!"
    I don't think you said it that succinctly but it was definitely what you were implying
  9. When you told me you didn't understand why all of your boyfriends' moms have hated you
    There aren't enough facepalm GIFs in the world