TOPICS I'M TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT AT OPEN MICS

I'm pretty sure that I've written material for just about all of these topics. So has every other comic in New York! I would love to see more original premises than the ones below...
  1. Your genitals
  2. Your masturbation habits
  3. The N-word
  4. Donald Trump
  5. How ugly/out-of-shape you are
  6. Why you're scared to have kids
  7. Porn
  8. Why you're single
    "Dating is so hard..."
  9. Your encounter with a homeless person
  10. Rape
    I've seen comics (usually female) do amazing bits about rape. But I'm so tired of hearing it employed simply as a shocking punchline. Especially when it's someone joking about having done it. Fuck off.
  11. Pedophilia
    As above. I've seen people with interesting takes on the topic, but if your joke hinges on implying you fucked a kid, that's just lazy writing.
  12. How lame and white you are
  13. How well you fit the stereotypes for your race/gender/sexuality
  14. Fucked up things you've done while drunk
  15. Feeling awkward while buying condoms
    You can talk about this to a room full of strangers but not to a single cashier?
  16. "I could never be gay because..."
  17. Why you think religion is a sham
  18. Things your conservative father has said
  19. "Everyone's a little bit racist"
    Everyone's heard of Avenue Q
  20. How shitty this open mic is
    We know.