Reasons Texas suburbs suck

  1. Strip mall, strip mall, strip mall, more highway, strip mall
  2. Grown women with homemade bedazzled sneakers
  3. Cookie cutter "custom" homes
  4. No museums
  5. It gets over 100 degrees
  6. It's over 100 degrees in September
  7. It's over 100 degrees 10 days in a row
  8. The only beach is at a lake
    *Lake = man-made hole in ground
  9. No, the gulf doesn't count. You funny.
  10. The only coffee house is a Starbucks
  11. You must drive to a place to walk to places
  12. People who've never tried Indian food
  13. Small talk
  14. Trucks that don't truck anything
  15. Too many churches
  16. The concept of recycling is lost
  17. New money