Just a few. Woe is me, like whoa
  1. "I don't know why you think you're funny. You really aren't funny"
    Peter Friedman on the back of the bus, in sixth grade. Peter was arguably the funniest kid in our class. At the time he was "already writing a novel." Maybe he just couldn't handle a girl making jokes? Whatever it was, it hurt my feelings so terribly. I knew he must be right. I often still feel like that girl. I often still think Peter is right. He must know something I don't. It's a constant struggle.
  2. "This is ludacris. You cannot hand this in."
    My dad editing my papers in high school. Red marks everywhere. He didn't want to edit them, but also "felt he had to." Couldn't let me hand in such shit.
  3. "Why did you gain so much weight?"
    A Russian hair stylist said this to me right before I auditioned to play young Margot Tennebaum. I was getting my hair cut an hour before the meeting. She hadn't seen me in three months. I was 11. It was awful.