A PARTICULAR FANTASY

It's getting big on here. I don't know if I should be doing these emo lists anymore. 😁 you don't all know me like my other INTERNET FRIENDS know me.
  1. 1.
    I'm walking down the street crying.
    Maybe it's romantic troubles, maybe someone didn't like something I wrote, maybe my my parents are assholes. Maybe I saw a beautiful girl working for a food delivery service and felt bad for her and her acting aspirations. Maybe it's just loneliness. Or existential something something
  2. 2.
    The fantasy used to take place in the west village, but now it has moved and a West Hollywood side street or Silverlake boulevard will do.
  3. 3.
    I'm looking down at the street and someone I know sees me and says "Miranda, are you okay?" I look up.
    Okay. That someone is a man. The man varies from fantasy to fantasy. It can be a crush or like someone random's cousin I just met.
  4. 4.
    I start to cry harder. Perhaps we walk for a bit and then I fall to a grassy knoll tearing up. Maybe I event faint.
    I've never fainted. All the lucky ones get to faint.
  5. 5.
    I tell the man my problem and he assures me "everything will be all right."
  6. 6.
    We walk to a book store and he buys me a book.
  7. 7.
    He takes me out to A drink (not many, this is not a drunk fantasy) or a light bite. Maybe we kiss. I feel better
  8. 8.
    He wipes the tears from my face. Do I feel completely better? No. But I feel entirely seen. And that's what I want.
  9. 9.
    Is this the most feminist of fantasies? No. Certainly not.
  10. 10.
    Do I know that I have to pick myself up and that someone can't do it for me? Yes.
  11. 11.
    But the thing is, I've picked myself up a lot over the years. A lot. And I think that's why the fantasy is so significant to me.
    Maybe it's not so not-feminist after all.
  12. 12.
    Is this the basis for a functional relationship? Well not entirely, but I'd like to think (in fact I know) I can help someone in crisis too.
  13. 13.
    Is it that interesting of a fantasy? No
  14. 14.
    But it is, a particular fantasy.
    That I have.