A PARTICULAR FANTASY
It's getting big on here. I don't know if I should be doing these emo lists anymore. 😁 you don't all know me like my other INTERNET FRIENDS know me.
- •I'm walking down the street crying.Maybe it's romantic troubles, maybe someone didn't like something I wrote, maybe my my parents are assholes. Maybe I saw a beautiful girl working for a food delivery service and felt bad for her and her acting aspirations. Maybe it's just loneliness. Or existential something something
- •The fantasy used to take place in the west village, but now it has moved and a West Hollywood side street or Silverlake boulevard will do.
- •I'm looking down at the street and someone I know sees me and says "Miranda, are you okay?" I look up.Okay. That someone is a man. The man varies from fantasy to fantasy. It can be a crush or like someone random's cousin I just met.
- •I start to cry harder. Perhaps we walk for a bit and then I fall to a grassy knoll tearing up. Maybe I event faint.I've never fainted. All the lucky ones get to faint.
- •I tell the man my problem and he assures me "everything will be all right."
- •We walk to a book store and he buys me a book.
- •He takes me out to A drink (not many, this is not a drunk fantasy) or a light bite. Maybe we kiss. I feel better
- •He wipes the tears from my face. Do I feel completely better? No. But I feel entirely seen. And that's what I want.
- •Is this the most feminist of fantasies? No. Certainly not.
- •Do I know that I have to pick myself up and that someone can't do it for me? Yes.
- •But the thing is, I've picked myself up a lot over the years. A lot. And I think that's why the fantasy is so significant to me.Maybe it's not so not-feminist after all.
- •Is this the basis for a functional relationship? Well not entirely, but I'd like to think (in fact I know) I can help someone in crisis too.
- •Is it that interesting of a fantasy? No
- •But it is, a particular fantasy.That I have.