DATING ADVICE FROM MY MOM (ADD YOUR MOM'S BEST TIP ++++)
Some good/ some bad. (Been sitting in the drafts for a while cause it's kind of my special material, but giving it the ol' publish to welcome newbies.)
- •"Just lose twenty pounds then he'll fall in love with you"Bad.
- •"Just set him up with your friends, then he'll fall in love with you"More trouble than it's worth.
- •"Just forget about him and be really successful and then he'll fall in love with you"Good. (Ish)
- •"Why are you upset? The only reason to bother worrying over a man is if you're in love or if he can help your career"Funny.
- •"Just get a proposal under the belt and see how you feel"Thanks, mom.
- •"Just have fun"Good.
- •"Don't wear your heart on your sleeve."Good.
- •"Everything is an opportunity. Go to every party"Anxiety provoking.
- •"Just get two rings under your belt and see you feel!"Right on top of it!
- •"You can take out the extra piercings if you need to, right?"Useless.
- •'Maybe don't get your hopes up so high each time'Suggested by @tombatten
- •"Put on some lipstick."Suggested by @TT
- •"There's nothing about a man you can't change"FalseSuggested by @hate_my_selfie
- •"Maybe the Cracker Barrel isn't such a good place for a first date"Suggested by @NoahGeisel
- •"The best way to get over a man is to get under another"It worked.Suggested by @katmills
- •Stop going out with your best friend. Men will think you are a lesbian (and in true Seinfeld style followed with "not that there's anything wrong with that")Suggested by @alyssa1976
- •Every time he does something good, reward him with a blowjob. He'll learn fast that way.Suggested by @Z
- •wear rubbersa glimpse at my unwritten "charming lynn gelfandisms" list.Suggested by @lindsaygelfand