EXCUSES/WAYSTO NOT WEAR A BRIDESMAID'S DRESS I AM SUPPOSED TO WEAR IN JULY. PLEASE ADD +

The bride will never get on, or know how to use list app so we're cool. She is obviously from another time. Also, come on, you have to give choices in this day and age.
  1. 1.
    I'm sort of embarrassed to even show you guys this, but here it is. Like how do I know someone who would choose this?
  2. 2.
    "I can't find a good strapless bra"
  3. 3.
    "I'm allergic to satin"
  4. 4.
    "I have to feel like myself in my clothes at all time, even at the expense of a relative's happiness"
  5. 5.
    "I'm allergic to heteronormativity"
    And this dress is it
  6. 6.
    "If I put the dress back on I will explode"
  7. 7.
    "I am allergic to 'sea foam green'"
  8. 8.
    "I was recently turned into a vampire and will die in sunlight"
    Day time wedding
  9. 9.
    "The institution of marriage appalls me"
  10. 10.
    "I'm a millennial"
  11. 11.
    I can drop it in dirt the night before the wedding.
  12. 12.
    I can gain or lose so much weight and not tailor the dress to my size.
  13. 13.
    I can pick a fight with the bride and get kicked out of the wedding.
  14. 14.
    I can divorce my family
  15. 15.
    I can vomit on it
  16. 16.
    I can have a guy ejaculate on it
    Cool!!
  17. 17.
    I can burn it.
  18. 18.
    I can drop cocaine all over it.
  19. 19.
    Don't worry, I'm gonna be nice and wear it. I know the day is about someone else. It will probably be kind of fun and funny. Maybe I'll wear my glasses.
  20. 20.
    Apologies if you have chosen this dress for your wedding. I'm jokin around and also a mean monster. Xo
  21. 21.
    But what are your guys' thoughts on changing post ceremony?
  22. 22.
    "Omg I forgot! Sry"
    This works as an excuse for basically anything
    Suggested by   @chloesearcy
  23. 23.
    This color offends me and I will have a look of disgust for all your wedding photos.
    Suggested by   @michelle
  24. 24.
    "I'm mean and I flat out don't want to do this"