HOW TO BE HOT IN THE MODERN WORLD

  1. 1.
    First of all, just be hot. You know, like, be attractive, in general. (Symmetrical face, good skin, you get it)
  2. 2.
    Be thin. This is obvious. Don't overeat. It's good to have boobs, but not so big that you can't wear certain styles of clothing. (High neck stuff, slinky slips... Anything Kate Moss might wear, the dress Carrie Bradshaw wears in her bus add)
  3. 3.
    This brings me to number three. Have good style and more importantly have a specific style. It's not enough just to be good old fashioned "pretty." You must also have a certain way about you. Are you "sad" hot? Are you "exotic" hot? Are you "not hot-hot." Be clear about this. People shouldn't have to try hard to figure out what kind of hot you are.
    Sometimes during my daily browse of my own Instagram feed, I get down on myself. It's like what type of hot am I even going for? Funny-hot? Hot-hot? It's very unclear and probably my downfall. I'm really going forParisian Granola with a touch of Venice California candles, but I'm worried that doesn't come across. Learn from my mistakes.
  4. 4.
    Audrey Hepburn said you should study yourself to really figure out what your best traits are. Do this. I also think that your personality, supposing you have one, MAY help you determine what kind of hot you are. (Just a thought though)
  5. 5.
    While your hotness should be clear to the world, no one should suspect that you've made any effort to attain it.That would be literally insane, and any hotness points, you had been awarded would be immediately taken away from you.
  6. 6.
    Now, this is where it gets tough: Instagram. Being hot in the modern world is not just about someone meeting you and thinking you're hot, it's about someone googling you and saying, "oh, she's kinda hot." This is why the specificity of your hotness is so important. It's what sets your apart.
    Also: your Instagram page should have jokes, but only "cool jokes." What defines a cool joke is its own list, but basically it can be self- deprecating, but not over the top snarky. You know? (This list is probably NOT a good example of that. This list is the opposite of hot, but charity is important)
  7. 7.
    If you need inspiration on how to cultivate your look. Find your hottest friend. And look that their Instagram page, find their hottest friend, and then their hottest friend. Stalk them. If you feel a little badly about yourself, that's okay! This sometimes happens when you're trying to get hot. We all have battle wounds.
    Looking at other people will help you find your best traits and show you what you're doing wrong. This is important.
  8. 8.
    Once you've figured out the manner in which you are hot, share it with the world!
  9. 9.
    Of course, don't make it clear that you are doing the sharing! It's best to have someone else create a blog about how great you are! Again any trace of effort = death. If I can teach you anything it's that. Your Instagram feed should feel as though it was destiny manifested and not your own doing. Also, & I really can't stress this enough: be thin
  10. 10.
    Also be patient. Nothing happens over night. Remember Malcolm Gladwell's ten thousand hour rule. I can't promise that if you spend ten thousand hours trying to be hot, it will happen, but I'm pretty sure! (I'm almost there)
  11. 11.
    I hope this was helpful. You may already know most of this information. In fact it may seem obvious, but it never hurts to reiterate important things, especially when it comes to being hot. Happy international women's day.