THE TRUTH ABOUT BIGGER BOOBS

  1. 1.
    You cannot wear a sports bra two days in a row because it will stretch out and be unsupportive
    Got to do that sports bra laundry girlllllll
  2. 2.
    If you take your shirt off during spin class, you suddenly get nervous you're going to pop out of your bra and are forced to put sweaty shirt back on.
    But having a problem like this also gives you something to think about during the class and then you can ponder on writing this dumb list.
  3. 3.
    People suggest you go to a ren fair so you can have your moment in the sun.
    I had to play the whore in my high school French class production of Candide. Wasn't that punishment enough?
  4. 4.
    You look like you're asking for it in a t-shirt
  5. 5.
    You look like you're asking for it when you stand up straight. It's like I think I'm Joan Holloway.
    Apparently this isn't true. And I'm standing up straight anyway.
  6. 6.
    People say, "Why don't you just wear a bandeau underneath?"
    Are you fucking batshit craZy? This is a very mean thing for you to say.
  7. 7.
    "Just don't wear a bra."
    Are you a true lunatic? Or just evil?
  8. 8.
    Sweatshirts.
  9. 9.
    Bathing suit shopping is likely to bring tears.
  10. 10.
    Bra shopping is important. Don't buy that pair of shoes. Spend some money on a few good bras. I'm sure you already do. You have to. Your life depends on it. My favorite brands are Empreinte and Chantelle.
  11. 11.
    Shopping is a problem. Anorexic shopgirls in trendy stores think you are an alien.
  12. 12.
    You need to have a good salesperson. If you want to feel like a cool young person while still being bra serious, go to Journelle in NYC and Jenette in Pasadena. I don't have anything in the middle of the coasts, but Journelle has a great website.
  13. 13.
    You have to wear a bra when your roommate's boyfriend is around.
  14. 14.
    You can't just hang out with your dad and watch a movie without wearing a bra.
  15. 15.
    On a scale from 1 to Brave from Brave, how brave was this list?
  16. 16.
    This also has its perks. Bye!