THINGS I'LL BE PREPARED FOR WHEN THEY INEVITABLY HAPPEN TO ME

You guys are gonna miss me when I go back to work. Xo
  1. 1.
    Getting Botox
  2. 2.
    Wining an Oscar
    Category unimportant, but one of the biggies
  3. 3.
    Winning a Nobel Prize
  4. 4.
    My book becoming an instant New York Times Best Seller
  5. 5.
    Two men fighting over me to propose with giant diamonds
    One tries to stop the wedding, before my good friend talks him down and out of it
  6. 6.
    A New Yorker Profile on me
  7. 7.
    Being #1 on Maxim's hot 100 list
    Publicly, I'll take issue with the concept. Privately I will be happy.
  8. 8.
    Being one of People's Most beautiful people
    For both my hotness AND my beautiful personality gifts
  9. 9.
    Being asked to go to space because I'm such a pillar of society
  10. 10.
    All of the profiles on me after going to space.
  11. 11.
    France offering me dual citizenship cause they love my vibe so much.
  12. 12.
    That's a good start