WHAT I'VE DONE FOR FLIRT
Inspired by what @emjuko did for lust
- 1.Pretend to like a guy's dogI don't love dogs. I'm sorry about it, world, but I just don't. Since moving to LA, I have grown to like them more. Sometimes I find dogs I really click with, but not often. It's just not a skill I was born with. I used to be so embarrassed by this in front of dudes. Did it mean I was un-feminine and not adorable? I would therefore pretend to love guys' dogs. Flirt with the dog just as much as the owner to prove I was cute. I rarely do it anymore, unless I like the dog for real. I'm okay as I am
- 2.Smoke cigarettesOkay, I do this still, especially when drunk. (sometimes it's for me and not the guy.) It's the best way to flirt tho. "Oh, hey, can I bum a cig." Once in college I did this with a guy, and accidentally burned him. It was a true disaster. Nothing happened between us.
- 3.Drink beerYeah. I don't like beer, but I've had it so a guy doesn't spend too much on me, or so I can pretend I'm chill. But here's the thing boyze: I don't think "a true chill girl" really exists. There are no chill girls, only chill flannel shirts and weed. Sorry.
- 4.Hop up onto a kitchen islandOh god. I actually did this this weekend. Hopped up backwards onto a kitchen island to appear small and adorable. It wasn't premeditated, but it somehow haunts me.
- 5.I've never pretended to like sportsSome lines cannot be crossed
- 6.Pretend to have seen certain moviesCome on. We all have.
- 7.I have never lied and said I've read Infinite Jest in its entirety.