WHAT I'VE DONE FOR FLIRT

Inspired by what @emjuko did for lust
  1. 1.
    Pretend to like a guy's dog
    I don't love dogs. I'm sorry about it, world, but I just don't. Since moving to LA, I have grown to like them more. Sometimes I find dogs I really click with, but not often. It's just not a skill I was born with. I used to be so embarrassed by this in front of dudes. Did it mean I was un-feminine and not adorable? I would therefore pretend to love guys' dogs. Flirt with the dog just as much as the owner to prove I was cute. I rarely do it anymore, unless I like the dog for real. I'm okay as I am
  2. 2.
    Smoke cigarettes
    Okay, I do this still, especially when drunk. (sometimes it's for me and not the guy.) It's the best way to flirt tho. "Oh, hey, can I bum a cig." Once in college I did this with a guy, and accidentally burned him. It was a true disaster. Nothing happened between us.
  3. 3.
    Drink beer
    Yeah. I don't like beer, but I've had it so a guy doesn't spend too much on me, or so I can pretend I'm chill. But here's the thing boyze: I don't think "a true chill girl" really exists. There are no chill girls, only chill flannel shirts and weed. Sorry.
  4. 4.
    Hop up onto a kitchen island
    Oh god. I actually did this this weekend. Hopped up backwards onto a kitchen island to appear small and adorable. It wasn't premeditated, but it somehow haunts me.
  5. 5.
    I've never pretended to like sports
    Some lines cannot be crossed
  6. 6.
    Pretend to have seen certain movies
    Come on. We all have.
  7. 7.
    I have never lied and said I've read Infinite Jest in its entirety.