WHY YOU SHOULD ONLY HAVE 2 DRINKS AT A PARTY

Do as I list and not as I do.
  1. You will be yourself.
    You're a little bit lubricated and can have fun conversations, but basically you are you. You can meet people you like and may even want to know in real post party life.
  2. If someone asks you to get a drink, you will only have had 3 drinks
    So you won't be over the edge.
  3. If you're into someone at the party, you can act cool and keep your wits about you. You won't get desperate and start thinking, "whyyyy hasn't he asked for my number yet? I mean we shared a piece of cake!"
  4. If it turns into a dance party, you can take a shot and get on that level.
    If you're someone who takes shots of course.
  5. You'll leave at a normal time and won't feel the need to stay late and party for the hell of it.
  6. You won't embarrass yourself or make bad choices.
  7. You'll play to the top of your intelligence in conversations and won't spew bullshit all night long.
  8. You won't do a tight ten about the host's weird art.
  9. You won't Instagram or put nonsense on the Internet .
    Lowest stakes reason
  10. You won't decide you NEED to smoke cigarettes
  11. You won't lose anything.
  12. You will feel fine the next morning.