ZE CHRISTMAS LIST

You know, the good stuff
  1. Job (nah but seems like a responsible thing to do)
  2. People to stop asking me whether I'm going to grad school (I'm not)
  3. Kisses from my girlfriend
  4. For NPR to stop their pledge campaigns
  5. Star Wars (don't fuck it up please)
  6. Leo Di to finally get an Oscar
  7. For republicans to realize that Donald Trump is their nominee!
  8. For Serial to come back and solve that goddamn case
  9. For stand up comedians to have a second special be as good as the first one
  10. Dewalt drill (because you know manly shit)