OBSERVATIONS ON TURNING 30

  1. Strong desire to buy local.
  2. Constantly gassy.
  3. Ok with spending $140 on a shower caddy.
  4. New gray hairs.
  5. Suddenly suspicious about aspects of online banking.
  6. Nostalgia for the 90's strong.
  7. Aware of foul language on the radio.
  8. No desire to visit "the party space."
  9. More respect.
  10. Need new bras.
  11. Pizza and ice cream have consequences.
  12. Open houses seem like a good time.
  13. No frolicking in the rain.
  14. Always split the check evenly now.
  15. No apologies for selfies.
  16. Find 23 year olds "adorbs."
  17. New interest in "artisanal" anything.
  18. Knees do the creaking thing when bending up and down.
  19. Find myself saying, "Don't thank me. One day you'll do this for someone else."
  20. Still considering new tattoos.