...who has a cousin hit on them every year at Christmas?
  1. I mean, I might be. It is awkwarddddd.
    Montana, y'all.
  2. We're not blood related, but my stepdad and his dad are brothers (my mom and stepdad have been together almost 20 years) and we both call the same lady Grandma.
    So. Yeah. He is my first cousin.
  3. Anyway, every year at Christmas he tries to ask me on a date.
    And I usually sideswipe it pretty well. But it's still awful.
  4. He came over to chat today and I was the only one home.
    Well, Grandma was here but she was asleep and she hasn't been feeling well, so I couldn't bring myself to wake her up even though the situation felt dire.
  5. Right off the bat, things went South.
  6. I was laughing at my little brother's new puppy (sidenote: Puppy and I are in love) and said something about the dog being cute.
  7. Me: He's a monster, but he's pretty cute.
  8. Him: Yeah, he's kinda cute. So are you.
  9. Me: *awkwardly looks around*
  10. Him: I'm just saying, I wouldn't kick you out of bed for eating crackers.
  11. Me: *picks up the 5-pound puppy for protection*
  12. Him: He's motor boating you.
  13. Me: *dies*
  14. Him: Hey, do you want kids? If I ever had kids, I would want to adopt them. What do you think?
  15. Me: *is dead*
  16. Only 14 days to go!
  17. Note: he used to be in the military but got in an accident while serving and had a brain injury.
    So maybe I should be less mean. (Even though he was a jerk and weird before this too.) But at least I just awkwardly avoid eye contact and list later instead of saying anything mean directly to him.