Goodbye Dad...

  1. Today was an awfully sucky day.
  2. The past few days have all been hard.
  3. But today was the worst.
  4. Yesterday I spent an hour with my brother saying goodbye to our dad privately, just the two of us.
  5. On the way in, I thought I was going to throw up or pass out.
  6. But once I got in to him, it was quiet and peaceful and actually pretty nice.
  7. We cried, talked to him, talked to each other, laughed at the flowers he would hate, enjoyed the music, made our peace and walked out better than we went in.
  8. And then we went and drank a six-pack of beer cause that's what Dad would want.
  9. We had dinner with my aunt, uncle and cousins and my brother's wife and boys.
  10. It was actually a really great way to say goodbye.
  11. But today we still had to show up and do the actual funeral.
  12. And it really sucked.
    Though it was nice to hear everyone talk so highly of the man we loved.
  13. Then we went to the cemetery. The small talk and condolences and all that sucked.
  14. And then everyone else left. And the quiet was nice again.
  15. Until we lowered my dad into the ground.
  16. Then we were back to sucking.
  17. I skipped the big funeral dinner. I skipped the bar with my brother and cousin and sister-in-law too.
  18. And instead I'm currently laying down with my sweet 2-year-old nephew.
  19. And as much as I love him, this kinda sucks too.
  20. Goodbye Dad. You were a man among men. I always admired your heart and while I appreciate you loving me and making the choice to be my dad when you didn't have to, what I loved most about you was the way you loved my brother. We were lucky to have you and we'll miss you forever. 🖤