Grandma's Monster Cookies

Made monster cookies with Grams today and decided to share the recipe.
  1. I've only ever tried to make these once by myself and they did NOT turn out. Literally, I threw the disaster cookies and all the batter away and found a different Monster Cookie recipe that I use now.
    Not sure why they didn't turn out that time. I halved the recipe so maybe I screwed up the math. More likely, though, is I think I softened the butter too long in the microwave. I now refuse to ever soften it in the microwave, regardless of what I'm making, and instead just sit it on the counter until it's ready. Grams was kind and blamed it on the elevation change between Montana and North Carolina. 😂
  2. Anyway, recipe time!
    Note: this is a massive recipe! It makes 6-dozen giant cookies or a million small ones. 😉
  3. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
  4. Start by creaming your butter and sugars.
    1 pound (4 sticks) margarine or butter (Grams prefers margarine but today we used butter), 4 cups of sugar and 4 cups of brown sugar. (Grandma doesn't have the scraper blade that I have for my mixer, but for this recipe, it doesn't matter much because the batter in the mixer doesn't get too heavy.)
  5. Then add in a dozen eggs. Once those are mixed in, add in a 8 teaspoons of baking soda, 1 teaspoon of vanilla and 1 teaspoon of corn syrup.
    Once that is all mixed in, your mixer bowl will be basically full, so be careful. (I had an egg jump out at me today, haha! Grandma also doesn't have the shield I have. Guess I know what I should have given her for Christmas!)
  6. In a HUGE mixing bowl, add 18 cups of oatmeal.
    I told you, massive recipe! Every year we say we'll halve it, and then we don't. Oops.
  7. Grandma adds her peanut butter in with the oats, but I decided to make our lives easier.
    So I poured half the mix from our mixer bowl in and she started to mix that in.
  8. Meanwhile, I added the 3 pounds of peanut butter in with the rest of the butter/sugar/etc mixture and mixed that all together well. The mixer is stronger than I am. 😝
    Typically, I follow a recipe to the tee. But today I just eyeballed the peanut butter cause ain't nobody got time for that. We had a big 4-pound jar, so I just guesstimated 3/4 of it.
  9. Once it's all mixed together, pour that in with the oatmeal mix and stir.
    We start by using a big spoon but ultimately I ended up stirring it with my hands. That usually works best.
  10. Add in a (12-ounce) bag of chocolate chips and a big bag of plain m&ms.
    Then stir, stir, stir! By now, it's a big, sloppy, wonderful mess.
  11. Then bake them. Recipe calls for 10 to 12 minutes but ours are taking about 15 today (we're baking two cookie sheets at once.)
    Grams makes the cookies really big, so I no joke used an ice cream scoop and only put 6 on a pan.
  12. And then you'll spend the rest of the day baking because the recipe is huge.
    If you're smart, you can trick your cute granddaughter into doing it for you while you watch your soap and take a nap.
  13. Yummmm!