MY DREAM JOBS

  1. The person who names nail polish colors
    "You BLUE It", "Labia Pink", "Dark Green"
  2. Person who gets to decide "Who Wore it Best"
    The skinner person always does, duh
  3. Professional cocaine tester
    It's a thankless job *nose starts bleeding*
  4. Pun Headline writer for news stories
    I'm quite "punny" ! See?!? HAHAHAHA
  5. Professional Churro reviewer
    I'd be the authority on foods sold exclusively at theme parks
  6. Person who massage therapists practice on
    I have more knots than your headphones
  7. Eccentric billionaire
    *starts collecting urine in Gatorade bottles*