Total Bullshit Phrases From Newscasters

  1. We are monitoring the situation.
    You mean following Twitter like the rest of us?
  2. Tensions are high. The mood in the city is... The local sentiment.
    I was married for sixteen years and often couldn't tell what the fuck my wife's mood was. Some 20-year-old fresh out of J school who just happened to be Europass hoping through a news zone when shit went down and called your studio to pitch themselves as a stringer is somehow going to be able to put an emotional thermometer up everyone's ass in the region?
  3. Our reporter in the region
    I refer you to the previous comment about some punk calling up the news agency trying to sell themselves as a reporter.
  4. Breaking news.
    Breaking news is broken news. A bunch of meat puppets vamping on what is, by definition, the worst data about the event? They are experts on camera-ready makeup. Why not just wait a bit to get better quality info?
  5. The news you need to know.
    You need to know about dangerous weather, traffic issues, and stock market crashes.