STAGES I GO THROUGH WHEN MY BABY HAS A RASH

  1. Stage 1: mild shock
    My baby wakes up from a nap with a sudden rash, and I am alarmed, but not horribly so.
  2. Stage 2: creeping panic
    But wait, what if it's hand foot and mouth disease? Or scabies? Or A DEADLY DISEASE OF SOME KIND?
  3. Stage 3: moment of rational thought
    He recently had apricots for the first time, perhaps a mild reaction to that. Or just the dry winter air.
  4. Stage 4: Panic again
    Nope, it's something horrible or at best, an extremely stressful scenario where we have to wash or throw out everything we own.
  5. Stage 5: Hovering between panic and rationality
    It's the weekend, so his doctor's office is closed. But I should take him to a walk in clinic just to be sure.
  6. Stage 6: period of relief
    ... brought on by the doctor reassuring me that if it were hand foot and mouth disease, he would have sores on his hands, feet, and mouth (he doesn't).
  7. Everything is ok for a few days...
  8. Stage 7: stress hives
    Baby's rash hasn't gone away, and now it's spreading slightly. I HAVE SO MANY STRESS HIVES, maybe babies can get stress hives? DID I GIVE MY BABY STRESS HIVES?
  9. Stage 8: a second opinion
    Ok this is ridiculous. We make an appointment at his doctor's, drive through a snowstorm during rush hour, and the doctor says...
  10. Stage 9: it's fine
    Probably a rash brought on by the cold he had a little while ago. It's not bothering him and I literally don't have to do anything about it.
  11. Stage 10: feel stupid/relieved/laugh at the emotional rollercoaster that is parenthood