Reasons to not grow a beard
- •Because you can't
- •It sheds like a Labrador retriever. And the hair tends to look more like pubic hair than normal hair. So your basically shedding pubes. Basically.
- •It keeps your face warm, a little too warm, and then you want to rip it off OR BURN IT WITH FIRE
- •It makes babies cry. Well, some babies...ugh, babies....
- •Some coworkers find it "unprofessional". Well I think your sign saying "I'll try to be nicer when you try to be smarter" unprofessional...so 👅
- •High maintenence
- •Way too many people ask about or send you the (inaccurate) article about poop-particles being in your beard. I TAKE A SHOWER DAILY PEOPLE!
- •Your mother might not approve (which might be a positive...)
- •Food gets caught in it, which you might notice immediately so you end up walking around with a croissant flake or piece of lettuce just chillin in your beard. Snack for later? Sure. Fodder for embarrassment. Yep.