1. If it's raining
    Rain rain go away
  2. If it's NOT raining
    Maybe you like the rain. Maybe you live in Seattle and you're used to it.
  3. If your significant other has sex with a supermodel that isn't you
    That would really suck. Hope that doesn't happen to me.
  4. If you're out of coffee
    Makes me sad for sure
  5. If your dog is dead
    Need I go on?
  6. If your friends ignore you
    What kinda friend does that!?
  7. If you drop your favorite pen on the floor and rolls into a sewer
    Try getting that back
  8. If you go to the movies and you accidentally see a Tom Cruise movie
    Lord have mercy
  9. If your dad goes to jail for petty larceny
    Who gon' pay the bills!
  10. If you order a sundae at the diner and a meteor kills your entire family
    Very sad
  11. If you feel like it
    Do whatever the fuck guy want
  12. Static