Reasons NOT to burn down your own house

Dude. You really shouldn't burn down your own house.
  1. It's YOUR house.
    You'd have to be a pretty miserable piece of shit burn it down.
  2. Your stuff is in there
    All of it. Like your Joe DiMaggio autographed commemorative plate. Oh and your computer! Also your family.
  3. You probably only have one
    I don't count your BS Florida timeshare. If you have a second, perfectly fine house to live in, then go ahead and burn it down.
  4. What will the neighbors think?
    Hey bill, did you see that Nick burnt down his own house? Yeah, what a LOSER!
  5. Insurance
    They might not dig you burning your own house down. You might be on your own with this one.
  6. Arson charges
    Maybe you know a guy at the precinct but they might not go for that. You might just go to jail.
  7. What's wrong with you
    Why are you contemplating burning down your own house you IDIOT, someone could get hurt!
  8. DON'T BURN DOWN YOUR OWN HOUSE