Top 10 Cheeses : Ranked

Swiss will absolutely not be a part of this list. FUCK Swiss.
  1. 1.
    American Cheese
    I know I'll get shit for this but let's be real. American cheese is dope. It's the most meltable, most tasty and it's 100% the most appealing to the senses. Smells great, tastes great, looks handsome, feels smooth and hell yeah it sounds like i want a grilled cheese.
  2. 2.
    Cheddar (sharp or otherwise)
    If you want to shred some cheese, look no further. With a glowing orange color and a proclivity for a grater, Cheddar is best served either on a taco or used to make some very yummy Mac and cheese. Try shredding Swiss you dope.
  3. 3.
    Mozzarella
    Perhaps the most Italian of cheeses. Pronounced in my family as "moo-sid-el", this cheese also takes well to the grate. Yet it is most enjoyed when sliced. A cheese that can make any stick enjoyable, mozzarella sweats it's way into my heart at #3. Oh and PIZZA
  4. 4.
    Parmesan
    There is but one cheese that completely exemplifies a wheel and that cheese is Parmesan. Try and convince me that you wouldn't go bananas on a wheel of Parmesan? And you know that other cheese you for some reason shake onto your pizza ? Yeah BOI that's Parmesan!
  5. 5.
    Provolone
    Feeling mellow? Look no further. Provolone has got yo back. The mellowest cheese on planet earth takes its place here at number 5. You'll never feel alone if you eatin' provolone.
  6. 6.
    Cream Cheese
    Ice cream? Butter? Think again asshole. Milk + Cream = CREAM CHEESE! A god-sent cheese. Now it places far down the list only because it's a cheese that was only born to be spread. But it can make even the blandest of bagels taste like sex for the first time. Thanks cream cheese, people underestimate you. But not me.
  7. 7.
    Queso
    Oh Dios mío! Your tortilla chips need to be dipped but all the salsa is gone! BREAK OUT THE QUESO BAY-BEEEEE! Unfortunately I just saw a video of Ted Cruz proclaiming his love for Queso so at #7 it will stay. VIVA LA QUESO!
  8. 8.
    Monterey Jack
    Undoubtably the most versatile cheese on planet earth. It can be mixed with so many other cheeses! Cheddar-Jack, Colby-Jack, PEPPER-JACK! Monterey Jack will be overlooked no longer. There is even a common misspelling of this cheese! That's how little people care and I've had enough. Go have some of this wonderful underrated cheese and remember, you don't know Jack about Monterey Jack.
  9. 9.
    Gouda
    A world famous cheese. A crackers favorite cheese. A cheese we can all be thankful to have. This Semi-hard cheese makes me semi-hard. I'll bite a wheel of Gouda and I won't think twice. Ladies and gentlemen, Gouda is simply GOOD.
  10. 10.
    Nacho Cheese
    What is a list of cheese without the soul reason Nachos exist! Without Nacho cheese everyone's life would fucking suck. I will admit that it is not the most appetizing of cheeses and perhaps is considered gross to some losers but we need to get on our knees and orally pleasure the human responsible for this cheese sauce.