Things I Say to Single Woman at Bars

  1. What's popping?
  2. Millionaires are completely overrated.
  3. I'm sorry your boyfriend left you for the au pair.
  4. No, I really do like that tattoo of a random person's name on your hip...awesome!
  5. Why, again, did you forgo college for a chance at a career in hair and nails?
  6. You've never heard of Seinfeld. Check, please!