Thoughts on my child's first birthday

He is my first child. He turned one today. It's weird as hell
  1. No way! You're not one. You're a baby!! My baby! Maybe I got the date wrong?
  2. Well... He might as well be 10 now! This is ridiculous! I'm not ready to have a child - I want a baby still!
  3. Maybe I can try and keep him little? I just won't let him grow up. I promise to be the best mum ever if he just stops growing up.
  4. This is too much. I'm going back to bed. Since you're such a big boy you can look after yourself, right? You don't need me anymore.
  5. You know what? You're cuter than ever and this is going to be amazing! I'm fine, guys!