Thoughts on my child's first birthday
He is my first child. He turned one today. It's weird as hell
- •No way! You're not one. You're a baby!! My baby! Maybe I got the date wrong?
- •Well... He might as well be 10 now! This is ridiculous! I'm not ready to have a child - I want a baby still!
- •Maybe I can try and keep him little? I just won't let him grow up. I promise to be the best mum ever if he just stops growing up.
- •This is too much. I'm going back to bed. Since you're such a big boy you can look after yourself, right? You don't need me anymore.
- •You know what? You're cuter than ever and this is going to be amazing! I'm fine, guys!