5 Celebs That Could Have Died at My Hands if They Didn't Have The Same Name as Me
Now before we get started, I'd like to make clear that I'm not a murderer or even a psychopath for that matter. However, these are some people that I would probably slaughter if not for the simple name likeness.
- •Michael JacksonWe're kicking off the list with the undisputed king of pop. Many people have conflicted opinions about MJ due to the molestation allegations made against him. Be that true or not, I would still still execute him simply because he was "the King." Executing kings is the ultimate display of dominance and this case is no exception
- •Michael MadsenMichael Madsen is one of my favorite actors as of late. I absolutely loved his work in Resevoir Dogs, and recently, his smooth acting in western-drama, The Hateful Eight. That being said, I would probably have to end Madsen due to the fact that he has a cool voice. People often tell me that I have a great voice, especially when I'm narrating something. I cannot have any competition in this field. Like I said, he's a great actor but he was blessed with a lovely voice just like myself.
- •Michael JordanMichael Jordan is no doubt one of the most infamous pop-culture icons in US history. He has, however, spanned one of the most annoying group of egotistical children in America, the sneaker-heads. While Michael Jordan himself is not responsible for these children, his line of shoes is really what brought all the hype to sneaker collecting.
- •Michael PhelpsOut of all the folks on this list, Phelps is the one I'm least enthusiastic about. He's a great swimmer which I have no problem with. I can't think of any reason good reason to kill him but I can tell you I wouldn't kill him anyway. I would take the pacifist route just because we have the same handle.
- •Michael C. HallMichael C. Hall famously played the role of Dexter Morgan from the Showtime drama, Dexter. On the show he plays a prolific serial killer taking out the scum of his city. Bringing an end toe Mr. Hall would be solely to prove that I am a better murderer than Dexter Morgan.
- •ALL JUST A PRANKIn the off chance that someone thinks I'm a sociopath, you're completely right. However, I would never murder anyone with or without my name.