Headlines from the NRI Renegade (6/19)

Biggest stories from the independent student newspaper this week
  1. Concerns about squirrel obesity on the rise
    Biology department to start tagging and tracking BMIs of the on-campus squirrels. Do not be alarmed if you see a tag on a squirrel's ear.
  2. Allegations of misuse of College funds by ASB president Jerrick Caruso.
    Caruso rumored to be upgrading his lattes to almond macadamia nut milk totaling .70c over budget each latte.
  3. SPONSORED POST: Want a tan before heading to the lake this summer? Lizzy Diaz offering a special promotion for NRI students. Contact her at nolinesbylizzy@gmail.com
  4. Expanded Freegan options at dining hall
    College administration responds to burgeoning subculture on campus by placing scraps from dining hall in designated dumpsters.