BUSINESS WORLD POWER MOVES

  1. Constantly asking your coworkers to tie your shoes for you
  2. Frequently having to be rescued from choking on jolly ranchers
  3. Playing the harmonica loud and fast and amelodically at various intervals throughout the day
  4. Arbitrarily finding a mother figure amongst your coworkers and clamoring for attention from her every minute
  5. Being afraid of skeletons
    Demonstrate this by looking up pictures of them on the internet and screaming in surprise every now and then
  6. Allowing yourself to be overheard playing pretend alone
  7. Becoming hysterically emotional when the vending machine is out of sour gummy worms
  8. At dinner with a client, ALWAYS order chocolate milk or appy juice
  9. Explaining a fantastical world you imagined and its inhabitants to someone for several hours straight
  10. Bringing a rooster to the office
  11. Surprising everyone with imaginary gifts
  12. Making everyone watch you put on a play with stuffed animals, then getting tuckered out halfway through and wandering away
  13. Ask if one of your peers wants to play "fighting horses" with you. If they don't, it's because they're a baby
  14. The ultimate power suit for men is suspenders and a barrel
  15. The ultimate power suit for the modern woman is a ballerina outfit with busghetti smeared all over the front
  16. Say you have a secret, then when someone leans in close to hear it, just go "bshpshfshfshfsh." No one else will ever know
  17. Getting a tummy ache