1. I Will Never Be Beautiful Enough to Make Us Beautiful Together
  2. Her Teeth Were Stained, but Her Heart Was Pure
  3. I Am Ready to Die a Violent Death
  4. I Am Going to Clone Myself then Kill the Clone and Eat it
  5. How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've Been a Liar All my Life?
  6. What Purpose Did I Serve in Your Life?
  7. You Can Make Anything Sad
  8. I Don't Know Whether to Kill Myself or Go Bowling
  9. Sometimes my Heart Pushes my Ribs
  10. Even Though I Don't Miss You
  11. I've Been Flushed from the Bathroom of your Heart
  12. If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Find Someone Else Who Will
  13. I Will Always Be Your Whore
  14. My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, and I Don't Love Jesus
  15. During My Nervous Breakdown, I Want to Have a Biographer Present
  16. Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart
  17. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like Having You Here
  18. Please Bypass This Heart
  19. If You Don't Love the Moon, You're an Asshole
  20. Alone with Other People
  21. I'm Gonna Hire a Wino to Decorate Our Home