JONATHAN RICHMAN JOKES

The Toast does a series of lists where they imagine albums by bands done in an uncharacteristic way. I pitched one called "Songs from a Jonathan Richman Album in Which No One is Up for Anything Fun or Exciting." It was rejected, but here are some of the ones I already thought of.
  1. Here Come the Rockin' Rockin' Bigfoots (Let's Avoid Them)
  2. I Eat with Moderation and for Sustenance
  3. The Employees at my Local Deli are Perfectly Polite, but I Certainly Don't Harbor Any Romantic Feelings Towards Any of Them
  4. When My Lover Starts to Sweat (I'm Like, Eww)
  5. New England is Cold and Full of Rude People and Honestly, You Shouldn't Visit It