That sounds like the setup for a bit, but I have a novel out and I felt like its table of contents would be a good way to shamelessly self-promote on listapp and heck, maybe you'll get a chuckle out of a couple of these chapter titles
  1. The Right Profile
  2. Portrait of the Artist as a Manchild
  3. Elvis Ray Sincere's Comprehensive List of his Own Fan Fiction Premises
  4. A Party, Condom Troubles, a Barfight, a Facebook Revelation, and the Unfortunate Fate of a Hamster
  5. We Went to Las Vegas and it was Mostly Just Sad
  6. The View
  7. Now
  8. Baby Girl
  9. Human Fly
  10. How to Nail an Interview at a Hot New Startup without Vomiting
  11. Caroline, No
  12. Jimmy Resplendent
  13. Does Jimmy Sincere's "Pizza on my Blazer" Signify a New Era in Hip-Hop?
  14. Why Are You Here?
  15. Dance on the Bones 'til the Girls Say When
  16. Olivia Benson
  17. Carrie
  18. "An Investment in my Future"
  19. Jamaica
  20. Karaoke, in Japanese, Means "Empty Orchestra"
  21. That's it! "Dilettantes and Heartless Manipulators" is now available from Snow Goose Press.