Real Life of an Arachnophobe

  1. Notice the spider hanging off the hood of my stove
  2. Have a panic attack
  3. Internally try to get it together
  4. It starts moving up and down
  5. Have a panic attack
  6. Lamenting my life decisions that brought me to this and the fact that I am the only adult home
  7. It makes its way over to my cabinet
  8. Realize now is my chance to handle this unfortunate situation
  9. Obtain a solid shoe ( my husbands cuz spiders are gross)
  10. Hold my breath, aim and smack
  11. Look for proof of death
  12. No spider on shoe
  13. No spider on cabinet
  14. Glance around, no spider in vicinity
  15. Realize spider has now seen my face
  16. Know spider is definitely pissed
  17. Have to move