A helpful guide
  1. You're afraid for your life
    You're in an Uber
  2. EDM: too loud to talk over, too quiet to jam to
    You're in an Uber
  3. You're having a meaningful conversation
    You're not in an Uber
  4. You're drinking a tiny bottle of water
    You're in an UberBLACK
  5. The driver is telling you about the last audition he went on
    You're not in an Uber, you're in a Lyft
  6. You're yelling at your phone "turn left. LEFT!! Oh for fuck's sake!"
    You're waiting for your Uber
  7. You think "yes, this was definitely the right route to take!"
    You're not in an Uber
  8. You are unfamiliar with traffic laws
    You're in an Uber, driving