Are You on Hold?

A helpful guide
  1. Every two minutes you are reminded that your call is important.
    You are on hold.
  2. You constantly check how much time has elapsed and grow more and more frustrated with your life.
    You are on hold.
  3. You are grooving and tapping your foot to a wonderful tune!
    You are not on hold.
  4. You don't give a shit about the "great deals on the new, blazing fast Xfinity bundles."
    You are on hold with Comcast.
  5. You're wondering why a multi-billion dollar company wouldn't just splurge on more than one song, or to just license the Billboard Top 40.
    You are on hold.
  6. When you get in bed tonight, you'll look back on the day and delight at how efficient you were with your time, "not a second wasted!" you'll think to yourself.
    You were not on hold in the last 24 hours.
  7. Your neck is all sorts of fucked up.
    You are on hold and don't have a headset.
  8. A momentary pause in music fills you with more hope and excitement than at any point in your entire life.
    You are on hold.
  9. The call fails.
    You were on hold and have AT&T.