Bald People, Ranked 📂

Using a complicated formula that involves how bald, how well they embrace the bald, and what they do outside of being bald
  1. 1.
    Moby
    9/10 people will see Moby's shiny dome when they hear the word "bald." And for that reason - plus the music stuff - he tops the list.
  2. 2.
    Michael Jordan
    Was bald considered sexy before #23? I don't think so.
  3. 3.
    Larry David
    He loses points for not being entirely bald, but the dude created Seinfeld and Curb so he's podium bald for sure.
  4. 4.
    Jonny Ive
    It's not surprising that this champion of minimalism and beautiful design has a minimal and beautifully designed hairdo, or lack thereof.
  5. 5.
    John Malcovich
    Can you imagine him with hair? Neither can I. Why does he rank so high? Because of the way he pronounces "memoir" in Burn After Reading.
  6. 6.
    Buster, George Sr., and Tobias
    Arrested Development
  7. 7.
    Sam the Eagle
    It's practically in his name!
  8. 8.
    Walter White
  9. 9.
    Dave Chappelle
  10. 10.
    Michael Stipe
  11. 11.
    Andre Agassi
  12. 12.
    Voldemort
    Sorry, not sexy
  13. 13.
    Stephen Shwartz
    Lose the toupée