Dude Struggles: Why It's Tough to Be a Guy
As a preface: yes, being a woman is probably way harder than being a man, but that doesn't mean we don't struggle too!
- •Hugging is tabooWomen take for granted that it's not weird if they hug someone they've just met. The amount of outstretched hands I've hugged into is overwhelming.
- •Only 1 orgasm per rideIs it easier to achieve? Yes. But it's always the same and always just once. Variety is the spice of life, people, and you ladies have a cornucopia of pleasure experiences.
- •I want a purse!When I lived in Japan it was totally normal for men to have "murses" because they took public transportation and were out all day. I have lots of stuff I'd like to carry and my skinny jeans aren't a feasible place to keep them.
- •Spinal issues from sitting on my walletNo purse. It's a struggle.
- •Keys stabbing my ass from sitting on my keysWhere am I supposed to keep these fuckers if not a purse?
- •We're always the villains. Always.Yes there are exceptions, but for every 1 female villain I can name you 20 male villains. Sup with that?!
- •Society expects us to be the ones to squash spiders, go to battle, check the basement for a monster, and go downstairs when there could be an intruder.Fuck that. Fuck all of that.
- •Men's bathrooms are grossCan't speak for many women's bathrooms, but you ladies don't strike me as the types to poop on a seat, leave the toilet unflushed, scratch your name into mirrors and walls, or just leave the water running until it floods.
- •Can't use the word "boyfriend" in a non-sexual context.Like, "just hanging out with my boyfriend tonight - gonna play some Mario Kart and listen to records." Women can say "girlfriend" without inviting questions.
- •Cheek-kissing is a one-way streetI love some of you dudes and yet, if I were to kiss you on the cheek... Nah uh.
- •We're outnumbered and outlivedI work out. I eat right. I avoid dangerous situations whenever possible and yet, most of my female counterparts will outlive me. Sup with that?!?
- •Can't wear makeupFor the record, I have no desire to wear makeup. But we have bad skin days too and don't have the aid of concealer. Or maybe I want to get all fancy for some event - aside from throwing on a tux what options do I have?
- •Can't use our sexuality to get aheadNot saying women should or do, but at least they have the option. Me unbuttoning my shirt and showing off a little more chest hair isn't getting me a promotion. Is this sexist? It might be sexist... Sorry!
- •Can't really reproduce on our ownJury is still out, but I bet that in the future, men will need women to make babies more than women need men. As a note, I haven't studied biology since the 10th grade so I may not be the most reliable source on this one.