Backstory: my dad and I held a contest between 30 groups of 2 to see if anyone could ride all 56 attractions (including movies, all segments of the train and monorail, Main St. cars, etc.)
  1. Some attractions close early
    Toon Town closes 2 hours early because of the fireworks. The Main Street Vehicles don't run all day. Check the website for more information as well as closures.
  2. Ask and you shall receive
    Disney cast members are people too and often times they're young, chill, SoCal people. Ask for perks - you'll get gifts, free stuff, and if you make a good argument (like I'm in a competition) you'll get ushered to the front of the line.
  3. You can be in the park past closing hours
    If you're in line for an attraction before the park closes, they won't kick you out. This means you should save your longest wait for the very end. Often times that'll be Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage
  4. Splash Mt. single rider
    Want to save 90 minutes? Walk up the exit of Splash Mountain and go in the single riders line. It's not guaranteed you'll sit with your friend, but fuck 'em, you just saved 90 minutes!
  5. The monorail and train are your friends
    If you time it right (and don't have to wait for them to arrive) you can cover great distances in half the time.
  6. Do Fantasyland early or late
    Nothing in Fantasyland has a Fast Pass. Everything in Fantasyland has TERRIBLE loading. And it's filled with little kids. So the best thing to do is ride everything here before the kids wake up. Or take the risk and do it when the kids go to bed (as your very last area before the park closes.)
  7. Eat on the go
    You're going to be standing in line with nothing to do. Eat then. Don't waste your time sitting in a restaurant.
  8. Not all Fast Passes are created equal
    And it totally depends on the day. Sometimes Space Mountain has a 3 hour wait, sometimes it's 30 minutes. Have a game plan for which attractions you'll be getting FPs for but be prepared to adjust on the fly due to crowds.
  9. Plan ahead!
    Know what rides offer fast passes, which ones have shorter waits, and think about the geography of the park. Are you going to check off attractions by lands, or are you going to spend time running back and forth between areas? You'll probably have to find a good balance based on any number of factors.
  10. Don't plan on having fun
    Disneyland is many things and sometimes it's a place to work hard and prove yourself as a warrior. This was one of those times - don't expect to have an awesome time, but be prepared to brag for the rest of your life about the most epic day at Disneyland ever.