I Wonder If Those Who Say "All Lives Matter" Also Believe...

  1. "Save the Rainforest" means "and burn down all those other places!"
  2. "God Bless America" means "and may He smite all the other countries."
  3. "Earth Day" is a celebration of how inferior all those other planets are.
  4. "Give me liberty, or give me death" is a statement of indifference, sort of like saying "I dunno, give me a hot dog or hamburger, whichever."
  5. "Don't mess with Texas" means "but by all means, mess with Delaware - those guys are wimps."
  6. "Drill, baby, drill" is a slogan in support of child labor.
  7. "Fuck war!" is a fetish of sorts.