Mary's Gone Crackers (a Study in Grammatical Ambiguity)
@taybelight and I once wrote Mary, the founder of one of our favorite cracker snacks, to inquire about the name of her product. Grammatical ambiguity is a real struggle. These were the options:
- •The product in question
- •Mary has died... Crackers?!Gone meaning dead. The speaker is stunned to find out and presumes she died at the hands of someone named Crackers.
- •Mary is gone... crackers?Mary is some sort of authoritative figure preventing the speaker from eating crackers. But she's gone, so... Anyone for crackers?
- •Mary has gone crackers (Crazy)Mary has lost her mind (crackers) presumably over making crackers.
- •Mary is gone? Crackers?The speaker is shocked to learn that Mary isn't present and thinks that maybe she's gone to get some crackers.
- •Mary's 'Gone Crackers'Mary owns a product called "Gone Crackers" - whatever the fuck that is.
- •Mary was gone, CrackersAgain, the speaker is talking to someone named Crackers, recounting a night when Mary was wasted (gone.)
- •Mary is gone, Crackers!Our beloved character Crackers can't believe that his beloved woman, Mary, is dead. The speaker must be harsh to get the point across, "Mary is gone, Crackers! She's not coming back."
- •Mary is. Gone. Crackers.Mary, like all of us, is. She exists. She has a life, perhaps a family, and perhaps made a small impact in the world. Then she is gone. No longer a physical being. Crackers. (Ok, the crackers doesn't really fit but I suppose it could be a poetic way of saying Mary has crumbled into millions of little pieces.)
- •Blaxploitation movie dialogue: Mary is a part of a corrupt gang of white supremacists who get blown away by black vigilantes. One of the whites asks where Mary is. That's when our gang busts through the door, shouting...Suggested by @bjnovak